INTRODUCING
GOAT MARKETING
GOAT is a marketing agency with one service:
Keeping your ass out of the hot seat.
Keep Your Job, Not Your Agency
GOAT takes a radically new approach to brand/agency relationships. Regardless of the situation you got yourself in, we’ll work with you to ensure you take zero responsibility. Oh, and did we mention there are no long-term contracts?
You Take the Credit, Not the Blame
Failed New Logo Rollout
You thought the market would love that new logo, didn’t you? Someone needs to take blame, but it doesn’t have to be you.
Questionable Tweets
Need to explain that tweet your company sent out three years ago? That wasn’t you that sent it, it was your terrible agency 😉
Declining Leads
The “2020” excuse has been maxed out and your boss is still asking why leads are down. Time to fire your agency and take charge.
The "OH SH**!" Email Blast
We’ve all been there. You left “TEST” in the subject line when blasting it out to your customers. You didn’t send it, we did.
How It (Mostly) Works
You Tell Us Your Problem
You fill out a form letting us know about the pickle you or your marketing team is in.
GOAT Will Take the Fall
Kyle, who is literally our only employee, will take full responsibility for the problem.
You Keep Your Job
Not sure if this step needs to even be explained, but it would look odd without any text here.
Client Success Stories
When BuzzFeed referred to our new logo as a “swastika made of dicks“, I knew our department was in trouble. We quickly onboarded GOAT to help us out.
People still hated the logo, but at least my department wasn’t to blame and we kept our jobs.
Instead of sending a huge discount offer to a list of users who recently canceled their subscription, I sent it to our 8 million active subscribers.
Yep, this actually happened. Look it up.
Thanks to GOAT, our team “wasn’t aware” of this email and we fired our agency immediately.Â
Who wouldn’t want to see Kendall Jenner offering police officers an ice-cold Pepsi?
Well, apparently everybody.
While I’m no longer the Creative Director, GOAT was able to take on enough responsibility for my boss to allow me to stay with the company.